Category Archives: Observations

One Of Those Days

You ever have one of those days where the dog wakes you up like normal, but this time you just don’t want to get out of bed? Where nothing matters? You just don’t seem to have the energy to care about anything? Yeah, that’s me today.


I am normally a morning person. As soon as our German Shepherd climbs up and lays down between us in the bad and wakes me up with whining kisses, I am ready to go. I am happiest in the morning, full of energy and ready to go, much to my wife’s (and other’s) chagrin.
However this morning, I did not want to get up. I kept rolling over with sand filled eyes, petting Miss Mina in the hopes that she would quiet down and let me lay there. I finally stumbled out of bed feeling like I was hung over and had worked out way too much, (I never work out, by the way) almost falling down the stairs, blindly lurching to the back door to let the dogs out.


I came so close to overfilling my cup of tea that the liquid beaded on top, held from spilling over from surface tension, thinking about absolutely nothing, a complete blank of a few seconds of time that seemed so much longer.


I sit down and read the news and browse the web as is my custom, normally paying attention and trying to glean facts from media hype, trying to develop a rational picture from the insensible 180 degree lying garbage the self serving waste of a meat sack in chief is spewing today, his campaign speeches disguised as COVID-19 updates, the over dramatic, buzzword, trigger phrase filled ‘facts’ that the news outlets are divulging, and the actual facts the people doing the actual work are allowed to let us know.

However today, I just can’t bring myself to focus, to care at all. Today I am just going though the motions. My eyes hurt. My eyes are ‘filled with sand’. My head is a dull numbness, my ears muted like my feelings and thoughts.

9/11

Every year on this date I wake up with a feeling of sadness. I watch the news with dread. I remember thinking, at first, that it was a viral trailer for an action movie. Then tears, sobbing, and anger.

We must never forget, but we must also move forward. We cannot give those who perpetrated this cowardly act of terror the satisfaction of knowing that they accomplished their insidious goal.

Always remember, never forget.

CNN Anchor Challenges Congresswoman To Substantiate Obamacare Criticism, Hilarity Ensues | ThinkProgress

CNN Anchor Challenges Congresswoman To Substantiate Obamacare Criticism, Hilarity Ensues | ThinkProgress.

I think the GOP is on a desperate hunt, still trying to win in the eyes of the public. They are doing no good for the country, only themselves. This is a contest, about them winning, not about doing good for the American people.

That being said, I think the reverse is also becoming true about the Democrats. They are no on the attack, beating the loser while they are down.

This is an example of just that. Try listening to this broadcast with an open mind, and putting aside vehement bias to a winner or loser.

What the Anchor states is true. The website doesn’t ask for any information that is covered by HIPAA. However, HIPAA goes deeper than the surface than the Anchor scratched.

The Congresswoman, is visibly flustered and on the defensive from the very start of the clip. If she had been calm, she may have better stated and explained what I believe her concern is: Data security and privacy by the third parties who are handling the website transactions, and the data warehouses that the information will be stored in.

Having worked in IT for over 20 years, most recently as a document data coordinator for a mortgage servicing company, I understand her concerns.

We dealt with hundreds of thousands of documents containing credit card numbers, financial information, social security numbers, and much, much more information that could easily be taken and destroy the life of a person or family. Daily. 7 million documents, over 2 terabytes of personal data. At one time I had an entire 2 terabyte portable drive on my desk here at home that may have contained YOUR information. You, the reader.

HIPAA covers the data that will be transferred between insurance providers, third party billing services, and medical institutions/professionals. This information will most likely go through a central clearing house for routing.

This is a valid concern, although not as dramatic and trumped up as the GOP are making it out to be. They are making a mountain out of a molehill in order to use this as a tool to win, rather than actually being concerned about the privacy of our data.

It needs to be said that while we are correct in the fact that they are currently doing the country more harm than good in a desperate witch hunt for ways to win, the other side needs to still think before acting out in the same erroneous manner as the GOP.

Or, here is a thought: Why not drop the partisanship and do what is good for the American people? For the country as a whole? Not just use that excuse as a tool to curry favor.

Migraine Week

Migraine, day: I honestly have lost track of time. I know I lost Sunday night, which I do not remember. I was told we were at the emergency room. I did not wake up Monday that I can remember. I remember bits of Tuesday night. I think it is Wednesday. My mind remains a jumble. I feel as if I need to pop my ears, as if water or wind were rushing around my head. The pain is less but still excruciating.

My limbs do not wish to obey me. My legs feel as if bathed in ice water. When I type, I can somewhat coherently organize thoughts, however the words are not flowing in their customary manner. My barely obeying hands and fingers are violently regurgitating this text on the page in fitful heaves of search and poke.

Over the past days, I have had the oddest thoughts. Something to the tune of, “if I get my head right on the pillow, it will line up and the sequence will be complete”. This will enable me to be painless and comfortable and sleep. I think is is something to do with the TV program “Touch”?

I am also feeling, for the first time, disorientating fear. Last night I did not want to sleep. I was afraid I would never wake up.

When I speak, I am having trouble remembering words. I need a pattern in order to complete something. Watching programs on the DVR, the pattern is; hit fast forward 3 times, get through the commercials, then as soon as the program starts, hit the instant skip back button one time. (This is an example)

The word for “perfect” came out as “circle”.

My right eye is a bit droopy, and the vision in that eye is blurry. At times the pain has been so great that I wished for it to end, no matter how. This is not a suicidal thought, it is simply what it is. Make. The. Pain. Stop.

I believe this to be a combination of my back/neck injuries and the worst migraine I have experienced to date. My mother (and, by word of mouth, the sperm donor) were both prone to debilitating migraines.

My wife is taking me to Erie today. Maybe they will have an answer.